chester-missing

Pretty Confusing Time to be a South African Voter

Pretty Confusing Time to be a South African Voter

Is the Oscar trial still going? Can’t we just do what we did with Nkandla and decide he’s guilty now? It’s been kind of weird hearing actual election news, instead of how Oscar is so scared of crime he stores his household appliances outside on… Read More →

Elections, Semantics and Cellphone Etiquette

Elections, Semantics and Cellphone Etiquette

The DA sent an SMS saying that Msholozi stole the Nkandla moola and you must vote DA to get it back. The ANC should just tell them he colonized the money, because if you use the word ‘colonized’ the DA will pretend it never happened.… Read More →

In the Battle of Nkandla, Only the Architect is Laughing All the Way to the Bank

In the Battle of Nkandla, Only the Architect is Laughing All the Way to the Bank

It turns out the guy who actually has a good story to tell is the Nkandla architect. He got R16 million for his troubles. No wonder they are chasing Juju for R16 million tax evasion. They need the money for the architect. No, comrades, there… Read More →

Welcome to the Rain-Drenched Nation, Comrades.

Welcome to the Rain-Drenched Nation, Comrades.

The only way this Oscar trial could get more press is if he joined the EFF. Julius will tell him he’s being targeted and that the cricket bat was planted by Gwede Mantashe. And when EFF finds out that Oscar’s lawyer Barry Roux allegedly charges… Read More →

The EFF is the new ANCYL

The EFF is the new ANCYL

  Last weekend I had a thousand Economic Freedom Fighters at the EFF Manifesto Launch in Tembisa chanting: ‘Chester! Chester! Chester!’ They thought I had a  mine hidden in my underpants. They were loud, they were red like an All Gold convention, and they were… Read More →

Chester Missing on SA Elections 2014

Chester Missing on SA Elections 2014

Joining a political party, any of them, seems to be a euphemism for putting your functioning brain on hold until further notice. The problem with morons is that its impossible to explain to them that they are morons. Voters need to look with less bias.… Read More →

Chester Missing is at an EFF and ANC Rally in Cape Town

Chester Missing is at an EFF and ANC Rally in Cape Town

Chester Missing gatecrashes an EFF and ANC March (happening on the same day) in Cape Town.… Read More →

DA and AGANG are DAGGA:

DA and AGANG are DAGGA:

Mamphela Ramphele, that tower of integrity, has joined the DA, or, as she tells herself, the DA has joined her, supplanting Lindi Mazibuko as white South Africa’s favorite living black person. The cynical amongst us reckon she has just become another puppet in Helen Zille’s… Read More →

Hola Electionistas!

Hola Electionistas!

It’s an election year so I hope you made New Year’s resolutions and then broke them immediately, just to get into the mindset of the political onslaught we are about to experience. The year started with the ANC led government paying R1 billion for a… Read More →

Don’t kill the booer

Don’t kill the booer

Let’s agree, it’s going to be awkward when Barack Obama gets his e-toll bill for his drive to the FNB Stadium. Apparently there were close to 100 countries represented at the service on Tuesday, including Cape Town and Nkandla. The only downer was people booing… Read More →

Common sense and insensibility

Common sense and insensibility

Our politicians lack common sense like Radovan Krejcir lacks a conscience. Apparently now Nathi Mthethwa, Minister of Police and Cover Ups, wants to make Nkandla pictures illegal? In President Jacob Zuma’s world you can let your friend land at a National Key Point, but you… Read More →

One settler, one cartoon.

One settler, one cartoon.

Zapiro is the only guy the ANC hates more than it hates Steve Hofmeyr. In fact I think they see their list of threats as: 1) the DA, 2) EFF, 3) Zapiro, 4) people who don’t pay their TV licenses. I would add The Nkandla… Read More →