Helen Zille Issues Blanket Apology For All Future Tweets

By ZANEWS March 16, 2017


Too exhausting to have to apologise individually every time

CAPE TOWN – With Helen Zille once again in serious trouble over a tweet, the Western Cape Premier’s Fauxpology Director, Laetitia Brown, spoke out. “The Premier is busy drafting a blanket apology to cover all of her future tweets,” Brown said.

Brown says the Premier instituted this time saving measure because of the vast hours wasted engaging in fierce twitter debates and not doing actual Premiering. “This way Helen can just retweet the blanket apology, and move swiftly on to offending new groups of tweeters,” Brown clarified.

While the content of the apology has not yet been made public experts agree it’s likely to include key phrases like “if I have offended” and “of course this is nothing compared to what the ANC has done”, with a possible reminder about that time Zille wrote that article years ago.

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