Facing my Lookalikes
Last Sunday, I was declared the winner of One Day Leader, SABC1’s leadership reality show. What made this victory even sweeter was that I hadn’t even entered the programme. Truth be told, I hadn’t managed to watch even one episode. My friend Shaka Sisulu is… Read More →
Man, that was stupid!
Possibly the most overrated entity in the entire biosphere is that grey mush found inside the skulls of members of the Homo sapiens species. Yes, I’m referring to the human brain. There is an unsubstantiated rumour that it is the seat of this phantom called… Read More →
Uniforms and the victim in me
One of the most moronic thoughts ever spewed by my notoriously malfunctioning brain was when I walked into a baby clinic in the Pretoria CBD with my wife and six-week-old infant, and thought: “This woman is wearing a nurse’s uniform with impressive epaulettes on her… Read More →
On Tip-Toe Through a Minefield
I spend huge chunks of my life bemoaning the appalling level of customer service in this, my beloved South Africa. In this regard I am no different to the average member of the Professional Whiners’ Association, otherwise known as middle-class South Africa. This lot moans… Read More →
Reunited And It Feels So Bad
By the time you sit down with your plate of croissants to read this, I will be attending a high school reunion. Well, not quite. It is the 90th anniversary of Inkamana High in Vryheid in northern Kwazulu-Natal, where I spent some years in the… Read More →
Winning with Homo Habilis
It has come to my attention that there are still a few people I have not managed to offend with my utterances. Today I will attempt to rectify this anomaly by revealing one of the best-kept secrets of the underground, subversive movement called The Husbands… Read More →
I’ve got This Beef About Chicken
Some of my best friends are serious, anal-retentive types who spend most of their waking hours erring on the “right” side of political correctness. It makes for many fascinating, albeit uncomfortable conversations. This is because I am as sensitive and as subtle as a horny… Read More →
How Mass Action Made me Change
I tried to set a building on fire once. It was 20-odd years ago when I was a student and I was very angry. I have no clue what I was angry about. All I know is that we were incensed at some perceived injustice… Read More →
Victim of the ‘Bah, Humbug’ Bug
When I was in matric my English teacher was one Mr Flay, an immigrant from that tiny island with a shortage of tooth-whitener, whose inhabitants have quarrelled with every country in the world except insignificant places such as Mongolia and Andorra. He was a sexagenarian… Read More →
This Column Might Not Even Exist
Growing up in my Hammarsdale ‘hood in the 70s, we had a variety of people we referred to as izinhlanya. For the benefit of those with linguistic disabilities, that loosely means “loonies”. Yes, it was a simpler, more honest era, unfettered by sensitivity and political… Read More →
Exposed to a chamber of horrors
There are things no one ever bothers telling young, over-eager grooms-to-be as they hasten towards their nuptials. I’m not talking about the obvious delusion of unlimited access to sex. No, I’m talking about the fact that when you enter matrimony you’re obliged to hand in… Read More →
How Do I Get This Stain Out My Brain?
The internet is, by far, the most important invention of the 40-odd years I have been alive. The first time I used the internet in the mid `90s my brain could scarcely grasp what was happening. The tingling sensation is probably the same one the… Read More →
It’s because he’s black, obviously…One of the country’s sharpest satirists, Ndumiso quit his decent job as maths and science teacher just when his country needed him most. He has penned two collections “Some of My Best Friends Are White” and “Is it coz I’m Black”. This is his regular column that appears in the Lifestyle and Entertainment section of the Sunday Times. Follow him on Twitter @NdumisoNgobo 
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