Following the publication of half-naked photos of the Duchess of Cambridge, advisers close to Swaziland’s King Mswati and South Africa’s Jacob Zuma have confirmed that the two patriarchs are engaged in a behind-the-scenes tussle to make Middleton their next bride. “After Mswati saw the pics of her, he tried to click on ‘add to shopping basket’, but it didn’t work,” said an aide.

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