Geneticists Confirm It Would Be Cheaper To Modify Zuma For Flight Than Buy Jet

By I-ZAWIRE November 9, 2015


“We can totally give him wings for, like, three billion”

STELLENBOSCH – As the country speculates over the new jet the President may be getting, scientists from Stellenbosch University have come up with a different solution: why not give the President wings? “We can just inject some eagle DNA into his spine and wait for the wings to grow,” head of Totally Experimental Science, Learning and Academics (TESLA), Hannes Botha said. “I mean sure we’d need to make a few advances in the science first. But it’s doable. Give us the money.”

Botha was quick to assure everybody that this wasn’t just a desperate and insane attempt to get funding for genetic research, but a genuine desire to save the country some money. “Why spend a fortune on a jet when we could be the first country to have a flying President?” Botha said. “Imagine how cool we’d be. All the other countries would totally want to be like us! Wouldn’t you like to think your president was awesome again?”

It seems unlikely that the Presidency will take TESLA up on their proposal, but we can all live in hope.

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